Sentimental fool

Last night Steve was talking about how we need to take the deck out so we can get the trees cut down, and I had a sudden (and totally irrational) feeling of loss.

Steve was flummoxed - poor guy.  He cannot understand why I would feel anything other than excitement.  I thought I'd try and figure it out.

We have been in our house for five years now.  In those five years, we've had 3 babies.  Those babies have taken their first steps here, and they've played out on that deck and underneath those trees more times than I care to imagine. 

Babies Olivia and Sofia outside in Springtime with the Rhododendron petals (the Rhodo is one of the trees that is going).

It's not as if we are losing the house, but we are losing part of it.  The deck is a place where, in the summer time, the doors are flung open and the kids run loose outside.  They've played in the sandpit out there, had al fresco lunches on the deck steps, they've fallen off those steps onto the concrete.

In the kitchen - which will not go straight away, but will go - they've pulled out all the plastic pots, banged on pans, and learnt to get their Dad a beer from the fridge. Lots of lovely memories (except for that one about the falling onto concrete). 


Baby Olivia busy in the kitchen

So I guess.. the only way I can try to explain it is, saying goodbye to the deck and the 'heart' of the home (the kitchen) will feel like it's definitely the end of the baby days.  Which - although I complain about the intensity of it all - I will miss when they are gone.

Unless of course, we christen the new house by having another baby. 

Steve will read that last line and cross his fingers, secretly hoping I might come around.

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